Axel: Look Xaldin, all I'm saying is you need to be a little more careful with those lances. Last time you played catch with someone, Xigbar lost an eye.
Xaldin: It's not my fault he agreed to play catch with his teeth.
Marluxia: Well you sorta threatened to kill him if he refused. So...
Xaldin: He still could have said no. I mean he just sat there and took it. I mean I was throwing them at him.
Axel: (Sarcasm) Aah great. Our brilliant leader. What's our pointless order for today?
Xemnas: Damn, not suttle at all are we?
Axel: Hey I got stuff to do. I don't waste time with a witty build up for an unsatisfying joke.
Xemnas: Sometimes I really think I should fire him.
Saix: Ha oh oh oh I get it. Fire. You're so funny Master Xemnas.
Xemnas: Moving on. Today's agenda, regarding our latest target, Sora. I hear he's in Hollow Bastion and I think we outta throw him a sorta surprise party for making it this far.
Marluxia: Wait, isn't he supposed to have gone to Castle Oblivion by now?
Axel: Better question, since when do we care about continuity?
Xemnas: Alright guys, here's the plan, when Sora walks up those steps, we appear out of nowhere scaring the (bleep) out of him. We'll say a bunch of spooky things just to freak him out. Then we'll go back to our headquarters while Xigbar hangs back and explain where the party's gonna be. Sounds like a plan?
Sora: All I'm saying Donald is that you should really get your throat checked out.
Donald: (Talking gibberish)
Sora: I'm not kidding, stressed throat is crazy this time of year and...
Goofy: You guys hear that laughing?
Sora: It's coming from over there.
Lexaeus: Black power!
Xemnas: Well well well. If it isn't the keyblade master.
Sora: Who are you guys?
Demyx: We're Organization...
Xemnas: Shut the (bleep) up Demyx! We're...err...we're the bad guys of the game. Ooooooooooooo.
Axel: Real smooth boss.
Sora: (Gasp) The bad guys?!
Donald: (Talking gibberish)
Xemnas: Sora, we...erm we kidnapped your friend.
Sora: WHAT?! WHO?!
Xemnas: Err it was erm...
Sora: Not Kairi!
Xemnas: Yes Kairi. We kidnapped him.
Xemnas: I mean her. Yes. We kidnapped her and you'll never see her again.
Sora: You monsters! You're heartless!
Vexen: We're actually nobodies.
Xemnas: Watch your back Sora. You'll be next. (Evil laugh)
Xigbar: (Laughs) Whoa boy Sora! You should have seen the look on your face when we told you we kidnapped your matey Kairi. It was priceless.
Sora: AAAAAAAH YOU B******!!!!!
Xigbar: OH GOD!!!
Xemnas: Well I thought that went pretty well. When Sora comes in, we'll all yell surprise. Got it? It'll be...
Xigbar: Oww God! Mateys yargh he didn't find this too funny. I think we might have been too convincing.
Axel: You can't be serious.
Sora: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH AAAH!!
Organization members: Surprise!
Xigbar: OH S*** HE'S HERE!!!
Xemnas: Xaldin get him!
Xaldin: Alright guys, I got this. I'll stab him right in the...(gets attacked by Sora)
Axel: Oh God!
Xemnas: Err erm Luxord play cards with him or something to calm his ass down!
Luxord: Are you out of your bloody mind? Look at him hit and I wanna stay around to see what he bloody does.
Xemnas: Damnit! Vexen, handle this!
Vexen: But I can't do this!
Xemnas: OH GOD! OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!
Axel: I think we're safe...(explodes).
Xemnas: (High pitch scream)
Saix: Don't worry Master Xemnas, I'll protect...
Saix: He did it.
Xemnas: SAIX!!! WHAT THE F***?!
Sora: Where is she?!
Xemnas: We err...we don't have her.
Xemnas: Yeah yeah it was a joke. Yeah we thought it would be funny so you can come over to your friends and then we can have a surprise party.
Sora: So it...it was all a joke?
Xemnas: (Crying) Yes.
Sora: Well this is awkward. I guess I got a little carried away here. I'm gonna go now.
Xemnas: Yeah you better run!